Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 24 (script)
The following is unedited from the original document except for formatting. Lines may have been rewritten during recording and/or editing. Script Nuii: I see... That is good, isn't it...? *Three Days Earlier - Natsumi is walking past some trash* Nuii: Neh! *Natsumi looks away* NEH! I said NEH! Natsumi: Huh...? *Drawn out gasp of surprise* *Cut to Giroro polishing his gun* Giroro: EGH?! *Bursts into the house, draws his gun on Natsumi* Keroro and Fuyuki: WAAAAAAAAGH Natsumi: AGH! Giroro: Hands in the air, like you care very deeply about it. Natsumi: Dude, you're in my house! Giroro: ...I don't care about my hands. Oh, hey Natsumi. Sorry, we're kinda paranoid with the whole Shurara business. You been huntin' kangaroooos? Natsumi: *Ecstatic* Even better! I found my old teddy bear! Kookadooo! ...It was supposed to be “Scooter”, but I couldn't quite grasp that concept. Keroro: It's a bike without dignity, it's not that hard. Come'ere Choobies, let's clean off the shame. *Punches Nuii with the vacuum 'cause it's not even turned on* Natsumi: Hey, Kookadoo's just fine, thank you very much! Considering she's been sitting in the trash for ten years. Fuyuki: Oh sure, if the doll does it, it's fine. Giroro: Ten years? How's that work? Natsumi: *Forlorn* It's not like I wanted to give her up anyway... *Flashback to Lil' Natsumi* Kookadoo was my best friend when I was left home alone. Lil' Natsumi: *Feeding* Why won't you eat? *In her sleep* Why won't you sleep? *Bathing* Why won't you wash my feet? Natsumi: But the poor thing couldn't take the heat. I wasn't the most careful child. Before long, Kookadoo was Kookadoodoo. And, finally one day... Person: It'll be alright, Natsumi. We all have to let things go some day. Come on, let's go get you a brother. Lil' Natsumi: ...Who are you? Person: Hahaha! I know. Natsumi: *Calmly joyful* But then today, I saw her again. Right where I left her. *Vacuuming resumes* I couldn't believe it, but here she is. It was like she was calling out for me... *Shot of Keroro vacuuming* Keroro: Sorry, did you want me to care? Natsumi: *Sighing* Ugh, fuck it. Come on, Kookadoo! Let's go meet Bop-Bop-Bome Beep-Beep-Bome! *Sad Manga Man transition, gong sound to Natsumi's room as she rifles through a box* It should still be in here... Yep! Here it is! Your old Bop-bop-bow! Nuii: I...like it. *Fast* No I don't, I'm sorry! Natsumi: *Freaked out* Uhh... UH?! *Screams* Fuyuki: Could you not?! We're out of bleach! *Cut to Fuyuki in the room, Sad manga man transition, reverse gong sound* Nuii: It's really nice to see you again, Fuyuki. Fuyuki: You don't have eyeballs! Nuii: ...I have friends who do... Fuyuki: Oh sis! What if this is another ghost? Natsumi: What? Like that ghost girl's just screwing with us? Fuyuki: She did plenty of it while Momoka was dead. Nuii: How do you... “screw”? Fuyuki: *Singing* Well you put your left foot in and- Natsumi: *Fake cheerful* Oh do stop, Fuyuki. *Matter-of-fact* I really don't care why she's back. Fuyuki: Or talking. Natsumi: I'm just happy she is. Fuyuki: And talking. Nuii: I'm happy to be back too... My old friend... Fuyuki: Stop talking. *Cut to night, Natsumi sleeping* Natsumi: *Softly in her sleep* Kookadoo are you asleep...? Kookadoo are you asleep...? Kookadoo are you asleep...? Kookadoo are you asleep...? Nuii: No. No. Yes? ...*Sigh* No. *Gyororo's eye slithers in, shot of Giroro's tent, music stops as Gyororo materializes* Gyororo: *Gleefully evil* This is pretty intense. ...Damnit I'm outside. This is pretty outside of tents. ...You die first. *Cut to Natsumi setting Kookadoo on the dresser* Natsumi: Alright, you be good while I'm at school, okay? You can keep Mah-Mah Man company! Mah-Mah Man: So you the one she gave up, huh, twinkle tits? Nuii: UuuuuUUUUUHHH- Natsumi: *Cheerful* Morning! Keroro: *In maid mode* Morning, Natsumi. I made you fettuccine and failure! Natsumi: Great? *Natsumi steps on Giroro* Giroro doll: Social awareness? Keroro: What the fuck... Natsumi: Did you guys make custom teddies of yourselves? Giroro doll: What the darn's a Tootsie Roll? Natsumi: *Cuddling the doll 'cause it's cute* That sounds like clinical sociopathy! Giroro doll: We were never meant to be. We were never meant to be. We were never meant to be. *Cut to Keroro looking in Giroro's tent* Keroro: *Calling into the tent* Alright Giroro, you successfully out-creepied Kululu. Come on out- eh? Cat: *Stylophone buzz* *Stuffed Giroro gets flung out the door, Thud* Giroro doll: *Slowly dying* Sit when I pee... Bra size 2...C... Cat: *Stylophone leitmotif of “Part of Your World”* Fuyuki: *Groaning as he holds his hands to his head* Natsumi: Uh, Fuyuki, we need to get to school. Fuyuki: Look at my hands. Does this spell “Ew”? Natsumi: Your forehead is bleeding! Fuyuki: *Slightly dramatic* Yes, but was it worth it? *The two run off to school* Natsumi: Alright, if you survive to adulthood, I'm sending you a bill. Fuyuki: 10 bucks says I die. Keroro: *Calling out to them* Be sure to say no to milk and drink plenty of drugs! *Normal volume* Milk is the leading cause of death in America. Right behind dinosaurs. That's what I learned in school. *Cut to Nuii, Gyroro's eye slithers out from behind* Nuii: *Sighing sadly* Okay. I think the humans are gone... Gyororo: Alright, act natural. Just your friendly neighborhood eye. *Fade out, Cut to Tamama running through the base* Tamama: *Incoherently babbling* ---- SPIDERS WIND BREAKERS NATURAL ENTROPY OF THE UNIVERSE- WaaAaAGH! Huh? Hey. You ruined my rant run. Mois doll: Mois, -a, -a, -a, -a. Tamama: Quit mocking me! I knew you were an evil bitch! *Slaps the doll lightly against the ground* Mois doll: Caring is- Tires! Uh oh- xylophone! *Singing a tone* AAH-AAH-AAH-Sports. Camels are- dorks! Crawfish! Tamama: *Gasping for air* Mois doll: *Ominous* Tamama, you're not the father. Tamama: AGH! That's- not- true! No! Don't look me with those judging eyes! Gyororo: *Eye appears, Goofy evil laughter* *Cut to Keroro spinning joyfully into the room with a box* Keroro: Laaaaaa~. I didn't roll a natural 1! I didn't get AIDS. Eh? *Kululu uses Mois, Tamama, and Giroro as puppets* Kululu: *As Mois* I'm sorry Uncle. *As Tamama* We don't need you anymore. *Mois* We've turned to each other. *Giroro* And I watch. Keroro: Uhhh... Kululu: *As Giroro* Oh no, here comes the tsunami. Keroro: Okay! I get it! You're the creepiest again. Kululu: I was just trying to tug on your heart strings. Keroro: *Quick, deadpan* Threw it out years ago. Now where is everyone? Kululu: *As Giroro* Yooo-hoooooo. ...Mister Big Strong Maaaan. *Cuts to them in the base* Keroro: Me estás vacilando?! Out of all the stupid things Shurara's done, how's the dumbest one working?! Kululu: *Astonished* It's amazing. He's tapped into the teddy bear gene that's present in all lifeforms. *Normal tone* They're still alive in there, but I don't know how we're getting them out. It's gonna take a lot of un-cuddling. And I don't wannaaaa... *Cut to Natsumi with Nuii* Natsumi: Welp, sandcastle didn't work out. *Nostalgic* Just like when I was little... You and I used to do everything together. *Sudden shot of a child holding Nuii* Lil' Shurara: HUUUUG. Nuii: *Getting sad* Yeah... We were never apart, were we...? Lil' Shurara: Who's my snuggle buddy? AAH-AAH-AAH-sports. Nuii: What... changed...? Natsumi: Someone just told me to do the wrong thing. Don't worry, it'll never happen again. *Pan up to show Dororo watching* Dororo: Hmmm. You threw my man out the window?! Ooooh girl... *Cut to Natsumi and Nuii sitting by the river, Travis does Randy Newman impression* Natsumi: *Content sigh* Ahhh. What a wonderful day of fjord. Nuii: It was nice... Can we do this every day? Natsumi: *Slightly cold* Oh this'll get boring soon, but... *Warmer* for now? You got it, Kookadoo. Nuii: It's just... It was so cold and lonely where I was... I don't want to go back, but I know I have to some day. Natsumi: *Sadly* That's not true. I'm older and smarter now. I know not to make that same mistake again. *Close up of Nuii cuts to shot of Lil' Shurara and Nuii* Lil' Shurara: Mommy's teaching me to be a vengeful mass murderer! *Cut back to close-up of Nuii* Natsumi: Also you talk now, and throwing you away would be really creepy...? Nuii: Not everyone gets better when they grow up... *Cut to Hinata house, lights turn on* Natsumi: IS EVERYONE ASLEEP?! ...OKAY. *Walks over and sees Fuyuki doll* What the... How many of these are you guys gonna make? Fuyuki doll: Threw out that old girlfriend, I'm investing in the monorail! Natsumi: It's so realistic. Huh?! *Sees the bandage, gets creeped out* Oh yeah... He's really fucking dumb... *Cut to Kululu's lab* Fuyuki doll: Hi, I'm Fuyuki! Now on VHS and DVD! Natsumi: Alright, what the hell's going on here? Keroro: Uh, what do you think's happening? Natsumi: *Pointing, judging* YOU... are jealous of my Kookadoo! Kululu: Ba-gah. Nuii: Aww, you guys made Kookadoos of all of you. I'm really flattered! Kululu: When did you become such a nerd, Natsumi? *Takes out gun* I mean, I need your doll. Natsumi: Whoa now, how about no? Keroro: Here, let me try. I need your doll. Natsumi: No! Fuyuki doll: Now you try! Nuii: *Panicked* Please don't! Not again! Natsumi: *Angry* Don't touch her, you little freaks! *Runs away, panting* Natsumi: *Thinking* It wasn't her... Fuyuki doll: *Flashback* Laserdisc! Natsumi: It wasn't her! Giroro doll: *Flashback* Outward they flop. Nuii: *Still panicked but having a crisis of conscience* Natsumi, wait! Listen! I need to tell you the truth! Natsumi: *Fast, in denial* No you don't! Nuii: *Sad* I'm sorry. You deserve to know what's happening. Natsumi: *Fast* No I don't. *Purse glows* Ah! Kookadoo, wait! ...Huh...? *Purse dissolves, Nuii is revealed* Keroro: Oh god, mimes... Kululu: Fucking kill it. Nuii: *Sorrowful* My real name... is Nuii. My master sent me to eliminate all of you... Natsumi: You're not her...? Nuii: I'm sorry. *Leaps to attack* Keroro: AAAAGH woobwoobwoobwoobwoobwoobwoobwoob! Kululu: *Aiming gun* Here comes the tsunami. *Nuii fires needles at Kululu* Kululu doll: Hegh. It's a womanoscopy. *Nuii slides along the ground* Nuii: *Quietly* Owwwww... I'm so sorry. I wish I had another choice... Natsumi: But Kookadoo! You kookaDO! Nuii: *Defeated, holding up her arm* Not with Shurara. Not when he's watching. Dororo: Then allow me to blind him! *Kunai flies out of nowhere, reveals Gyororo* Gyororo: *Wheeze, impressed but shocked* Khooooooo- holy shit that was close... Keroro: *Grossed out* Wugh! Dororo: He must have been Shurara's eyes this whole time! Gyororo: Man! You don't know the half of it! You guys are fucked up! Not as fucked up as our boss, though! Old Nuii here used to be his when he was a kid. When he was putting us all together, he wanted someone who would obey him no matter what. He hates you so much, he gave his old doll life! *Natsumi picks up the bow as Gyororo continues* Seriously, if he wasn't around, I'd be watching you guys permanently. You're horrible people, but he's cracked! Natsumi: So all of that... That was all just to get to us. Gyororo: He doesn't care about you. It's the Keroro Platoon he wants. And with Nuii's new special power, we're finally putting you down. *Starts attacking* Cuddle this! Dororo: *Grunting sounds as he blocks, gets turned into doll* I was never meant to be! Keroro: *Freaking out, punches self* AAAAAAGH! *Nervous sounds in the background* Gyororo: Alright Nuii. FfffffFUGGIMUP! And let's go home~. Nuii: I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... *Natsumi steps in front of Keroro, Nuii gasps* Natsumi: Nuii! You don't have to do what he says! This can be your home now! Gyororo: *Annoyed* Oy! Don't listen to her! Listen to my sultry voice! DO IT OR I'LL EAT YOU! *Nuii jumps at Natsumi* Natsumi: Nuii... *Nuii keeps falling, Natsumi reveals the bow* Natsumi: *Small gasp when nothing happens, Nuii stands in silence, Natsumi speaks to her sweetly* You forgot your Bop-Bop-Bow. Gyororo: Well I forgot my gravity. *Flies at them, screaming in fury* AAAAAAAAAAGH!! Natsumi: *Frightened* Ahh! *Nuii stops Gyororo and holds him in place* Nuii: *Struggling sounds* Gyororo: Ugh-! AH! *Struggling* Somehow I... didn't see that... COMING! Natsumi: *Shocked* Nuii! Nuii: *Struggling* Natsumi... you're right... I won't be his slave... anymore! Gyororo: How do you... have... body strength?! *Tears into Nuii's arm, powers up* GRAAAAAAAHHH!! Nuii: Now! Do it now! Keroro: *Sliding in with gun* ...COP! Natsumi: No! Don't! *Keroro fires gun* Kookadoooooo! *Cut to Gyororo in a bubble* Kululu: Yep that's all it does. Hey, at least it's wet. Giroro: It wouldn't have been creepy if you didn't say that. Dororo: Well that's one more we can stuff in the vaults. Kululu: *Creepy* Yeah... vaults... Giroro: Again, if you just shut up, it'd be fine. Mois: *Dramatic* Quoth the raven... AAH-AAH-AAH sports. *Cut to the stream, gentle piano music playing* Natsumi: *Softly* So you really can't stay? Nuii: *Softly* You called me Kookadoo again. Natsumi: Oh... Nuii: I just have to accept it. I can't get back the good times I had with Shurara. And if I go back, I'll only be miserable. But if I stay here with you, I'll just be a replacement for your old friend. Natsumi: I'm sorry Nuii... Nuii: It's okay... You made me happier in one week than I've felt in years. *Glows, flies off into the sky* Goodbye Natsumi! I will never forget you! Todd Sirkowski: Happy birthday to you- *explodes, piano crashes, Natsumi stares in horror as area glows orange around her. Todd screaming in the chaos, after a second* ...MAKE A WISH! Ocelot: *Walking past* Oh no, guys, somebody stole mah juice box. Jussfuckin' stole it. Right outta my lunch box, WHERE'D IT GO?! *Splashes into ravine* It's gotta be in here somewhere. *Credits* *Post-Credits 1 – Keroro swinging back in forth while the cat does a Stylophone version of “Wiggle”* Keroro: Pickle radish mayonnaise. Buffalo winnnngs~ *Post-Credits 2* *Shurara banging his head on a desk, starts humming “Seven Nation Army”* Yukiki: *Deadpan but slightly confused* Sir, what are you doing...? Shurara: Building a desk with my face. Yukiki: It looks complete, sir. Shurara: Good, then I'm just frustrated. Can you get me an ice pack? No, not you, that's gross! Out of the refrigerator! Yukiki: Oh, yes sir. Shurara: *Continues banging head and singing* And I'm bleeding and I'm bleeding and I'm bleeding- Yukiki: Sir, the, uh... fridge refused. Shurara: *Stops banging head* ...Excuse me? Yukiki: It won't let me until I give it a dollar. Shurara: ...Ugh shit that fucking Robobo, I told him to put that guy back, not put him in something else! He shouldn't have been in that train to begin with! Grandpa Viper: Hello boys. Did you come to see my house? Shurara: I came to bleed on you! *Starts knocking his head against the fridge* Grandpa Viper: *Sings the bassline to “Seven Nation Army”* Shurara: Stupid bass playing refrigerator! Yukiki: Sir, what's gotten you so upset? Shurara: She was so- damn- close! There was just Keroro left. Just him left, and he was just standing there! And she couldn't do that!! Yukiki: It'll be alright, sir. I'll personally take care of them next. Shurara: Then Kagege. Yukiki: Yes... Then inevitably you. It probably should have been you from the start. Shurara: I am the one with the giant robot. Grandpa Viper: He dead. Shurara: Not him. *Sigh* Alright, you're up next. Tell Kagege to get into position. We're finishing this tomorrow. Yukiki: Yessir. *Low* How are you bleeding through your helmet...? Shurara: SKILLFULLY! *Yukiki leaves* Shurara: I've got a quarter. Grandpa Viper: That's not how I raised you. Shurara: Ehh, can't argue with that! *Pause, resumes thumping his head against the fridge* Category:Episode Scripts